I really wish that people who work on checkouts in shops would not consider it their place to behave as if customers are weird.

I walked into a local independent food shop, as I was passing. I had decided I wanted a baked potato for dinner, I already had everything I needed, except a potato. Being a key component in my plans for a baked potato I decided to procure one for myself. I was just passing a shop which I was aware contained a veritable cornucopia of potatoes, so I went in. I was on a mission, a potato mission. I foresaw no possible issue with this plan.

So I picked up a potato, walked to the till and placed it on the counter. The look I received is possibly the same one I’d have got if I had flopped my left bollock onto the counter.

Is there some kind of secret minimum amount of stuff I should have to buy in an up-market grocery shop before I am worthy of them? Is one 40p potato just not good enough? Did I dishonor myself and insult their ‘mediterranean food hall’ by daring to imagine they would stoop so low as to consider selling one potato an acceptable use of their valuable time?

The sheer force created by the aura of apathy, revulsion and intolerance as she entered the PLU code into the till, as if it clearly was not worth her effort and the wear on the till keys just to sell one potato, made me feel as if I had just done something hideously and terribly wrong. I felt like I was a bad person.

If I had walked into the boutique of a master stationer and requested a single paperclip after placing a one pence coin upon the counter, I would feel rightly embarrassed and expect this attitude, however as this was a grocery shop, sorry, a ‘mediterranean food hall’ I do not think it unreasonable to just want a potato.

Dear reader, I ate that potato but each mouthful was as ash and dust in my mouth and failed to satisfy me, such was the terrible awkwardness and silent recrimination with which it had entered my possession a mere two hours previously.

Buying a potato should not be an unpleasant experience, buying a potato should be a happy moment because it signals the imminent enjoyment of a baked potato (Rub olive oil and salt into the skin, bake for 90 minutes at 200c, turning half way though, serve with Heinz Organic Baked Beans, extra mature cheddar cheese and black pepper – heat the plate so nothing goes cold). Combined with picking a suitable variety, size and shape of potato this is how you make a perfect baked potato.

My dinner, was ruined. All I could think of whilst eating it was the disdain and apathetic intolerance of the stuck-up git who sold it to me.