At the moment I feel like crap. Permanently. I just have almost no energy, I wake up feeling no better than the night before, yawning, aching and stumbling, bleary-eyed, through the day. It takes a stupid amount of mental effort just to get out of bed in the morning.

By the time I leave work there is no juice left in my brain. I cannot concentrate hard enough or think enough to do any studying and things like housework, ironing clothes and making dinner are just far too much effort. I’ve had to force myself to iron some clothes tonight, just so I have things to wear tomorrow. Usually I am not this far behind.

I had been pinning my hopes of returning to the land of the living awake people on some blood tests. I have to take synthetic thyroxine because I was born with a knackered thyroid gland, a condition which used to be called ‘cretinism’. I am not making this up, if I was born much earlier than I was I’d have ended up a drooling midget spackoid, which I believe is the current politically correct term.

Anyway, if I do not have enough of this thyroxine stuff I get symptoms like fatigue, depression, my memory goes worse, I find it difficult to concentrate and so on…

I’ve been getting all of this over the last couple of months so I went for a blood test to check my levels of thyroxine. When the results were in I received a letter asking me to make an appointment to discuss my dose of medication. I though this would prove me right, but no. It has not.

My dose of thyroxine has been reduced and my doctor says I should have had the opposite symptoms to what I am having. I should have been hyperactive, had heart palpitations, felt on edge and anxious, etc.

This concerns me. I feel like a squashed McDonalds hamburger carton in a gutter, with a dirty big footprint on it. Next to some dog poo. In Swansea.

Unless my body has just been reacting in weird ways and I improve with the new dose, which begins tomorrow, I really have no idea what to do now and I worry that I am going to feel even worse because I’ll be on 7/8ths of the thyroxine I was taking, which is what keeps my metabolism ticking over at a normal-ish level.

Despair.

Edit: And, I almost forgot this, worst of all instead of taking two small fiddly 100mcg tablets I now need to take one 100mcg and three of the microscopic bastard 25mcg ones that I can never get out of the stupid blister packs. Bleeeuuughhh!